


4 bats and a diner

by Peachidiot



Category: DCU
Genre: Crack, diner, just the bat boys getting waffles at a dinner at 2 am, selina kyle and bruce implied, unintentionally deep at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachidiot/pseuds/Peachidiot
Summary: "Hey, listen here you little pieces of shit. I don’t know what kind of rules batman has about these sort of things but under no circumstances will Red hood be shooting robin in my fucking diner. If y’all want to be doing that shit, y’all best do it outside, but this diner here is strictly for eating food. So you best sit down and eat your god forsaken waffles. Alright boys?”or the one in which Nightwing, Robin, Red Robin and Red Hood get breakfast at a 24 hour diner after Bruce ditches them for a date.





	

When Bruce sent the boys out for patrol he called it “team-bonding” or some other bullshit excuse. All of them realized it was because Bruce wanted to bang Selina Kyle without having to deal with the cock-block that is four boys. Four borderline super human boys who have set the manor on fire for kicks and giggles and who been kicked out of the zoo seven separate occasions and are now banned for life after one got stuck in the lion enclosure. The lion was the one who needed rescuing though, not the boy. But anyway, the four brothers are now all crammed into the Batmobile on a Tuesday night for patrol. Dick is sang his heart out to ABBA, while Jason tried not to shoot Damien for grabbing shot gun, Tim is hacking into Lex Corp. because tonight is slower than usual. And Damien, poor, sweet Damien is pissed because he wanted to drive the Batmobile.   
“Dammit Dick I wanted to drive.” The youngest pouted. Glaring out the window as they drove through the city streets of an eerily empty Gotham  
“Excuse me, Damien but I am not sentencing myself to a death wish. I promised Bruce that if we took the Batmobile not to hurt her or let Jason driver he-  
“Hey! Fuck you!” Jason screeched form the back seat.  
“Watch your fucking language there’s a child here, asshole! I also promised Alfred that under no circumstances was I to allow you to drive. Again.”  
Tim just snickered.   
“What the hell are you laughing at, Jerk face?” Damien yelled, ready to start a fight.   
“Oh nothing, test tube baby.” Tim muttered with a smirk. Dick sighed and just put his face in his hands.  
“Oooooh get wrecked!” yelled Jason. Damien undid his seat belt and was about to unleash all hell on the back seat. Dick did the sign of crucifix. Jason undid his seatbelt and was reading to fucking fight Damien. And then Tim, poor, sweet, sleep deprived Tim laughed. Tim possessed the kind that brought people together. Eventually the entire car was full of the sound of brothers laughing, it made them all feel briefly normal at least for a second. Their brief moment of peace was cut short by the sound of a scream.  
“That’s our cue boys!” Dick, called out. The boys all jumping from the car as they began running towards the sound.  
“I bet I can get there first, pipsqueak!” called Jason as he ran ahead of the boys.   
“I’m blood, I’ll be there first. Crowbar.” As Damien climbed a fire escape. Dick sighed as he watched his brothers make complete fools of themselves.

“Oooooh, shit just got real.” Tim yelled from behind them. He didn’t even bother running, he knew it was a waste of energy and the poor kid was already tired enough. By the time Damien and Jason showed up (not before falling off of three apartment buildings and set Tim’s cape on fire) Dick was already there helping some poor girl up. Surrounding the two were 3 unconscious men handcuffed to a dumpster.  
“Thank you so much Nightwing! I don’t know what I would have done without your help.” The girl said as she hugged her savior.  
“You’re welcome. Do you need someone to escort you to your destination?” Dick asked as he flashed the girl one of his charming smirks.  
“As much as I’d love that, I don’t think your friends here would.” The girl laughed as she pointed to the other three brothers who all glared at Dick. The girl turned the corner leaving Dick in the awkward position of explaining that to his brothers.  
Silen-  
“-what the fuck was that?!” Jason yelled.  
“Flirting.” Dick responded wryly as he called the police. He ran his hands through his dark hair flashing the other boys a smirk. “You were slow. Anyway, after the police show up do you guys want to grab a bite to eat? I’m starving and there’s a great diner near here.”   
Dick stretched. Tim yawned. Jason sighed. Damien glared. Sirens blared. Police came. Protégés vanished.   
The boys walked to a small diner. An open sign flashed its neon glow upon the black sidewalks, reflecting his the puddles that lined the streets. Tim was sure they gave the Waitress a heart attack when she saw them fully dressed and decked out.   
“Table for four, please.” Damien stated.   
“Any kids menu?” were all she could stutter out. All she wanted was to go home and sleep. She should have just listened to ma, but no she had to move out to Gotham with some douche bag who wanted to make it big, too bad he got himself shot. She led the heroes to a booth.  
“By anyway do you know what time it is?” Jason asked as he began to look through the menu she had handed them. “Also what’s good here?”  
“It’s 2:29 am. The strawberry waffles are good. So are the pancakes, the burgers are just don’t get them with lettuce. That stuff has been in the fridge since I started working here.”  
“Thanks.” Jason muttered. The boys all decided what they wanted and ordered. Dick got French toast. Jason got a burger. Tim got blueberry pancakes with bacon. Damien got waffles with strawberries. All got a cup of coffee except Damien who got hot chocolate.   
When the girl came back, she nearly dropped all of the food. In front of her was red hood leaning across the table holding a gun to robin’s head, robin had his hands on red hood’s shirt pulling him closer screaming in what she thought was Arabic. Nightwing was trying to pull the two apart, but was ultimately failing. Then bam, robin nailed Nightwing in the face causing him to fall back and hit his head on the glass window. Nightwing muttered Romani curses. Red robin just sat there drinking his coffee. She could see Red hood pulling the trigger and that’s when she had enough. She set her tray on the counter and whistled.  
“Hey, listen here you little pieces of shit. I don’t know what kind of rules batman has about these sort of things but under no circumstances will Red hood be shooting robin in my fucking diner. If y’all want to be doing that shit, y’all best do it outside, but this diner here is strictly for eating food. So you best sit down and eat your god forsaken waffles. Alright boys?” that shut both of them up. She handed each of the boys their plates. Dick tried to engage conversation, but none of them were in the mood to make conversation, so he carried on a conversation with the waitress who was in the process of wiping the counter and putting away the chairs. He found out her name was Donna. When the four boys finished their meals they payed their bill. Nightwing gave her a smile before leaving. Donna flipped off the open sign and went to get their bill.   
On the table she found two one hundred dollar bills and a crudely written note on a napkin that said “Dear Donna, sorry for the pain in the ass by brothers are. Love, Red Robin” there was even a cute smiley face drawn. Donna smiled to herself and stuck the money in her apron. Those boys were certainly something.   
The boys came in next week, and the week after that. And shockingly the week after that. Till eventually she knew their orders and they had their own booth that would always be open at 2 am on Tuesdays.   
“So, am I ever gonna meet the big man?” she asks one night while refilling the boys coffee cups. Jason spit his coffee all over Tim who was across from him, Jason started laughing/coughing as Donna handed Tim napkins.   
“I’ll take that as a no?”  
“Yeah, Br- Batman’s getting his thing on tonight, if you catch my drift”, Nightwing said with a smirk as he wiggled his eyebrows. Donna giggled.   
“I’d rather not talk about batman fucking over dinner, if you at all fucking mind.” Jason said as he did a gagging motion. Tim sighed, Donna had noticed that he did that a lot. She laughed at the boys antics. They certainly kept her on her toes, she never knew what to expect.  
It had been quieter than usual that Tuesday night, unusually boring. She was in the process of getting the orders of some men who came in after work.  
“Can I get th- Holy shit is that Nightwing? What the hell are they doing here?”  
“Damn, that is him and robin and the other robin and red dude. What’s his name again?”  
“It’s red hood. Also boys your table to open over there. How are y’all doing tonight? Also I assume the usual?” A series of murmurs echoed through the group of boys as they sat down at the booth near the counter. The night continued, the boys laughed and casually made fun of each other. They talked about anything and everything. They talked about Star Wars and Star Treck, My little pony, foreign politics, dreams, what they would have been besides crime fighters. They talked about the future, they talked about Donna’s dreams and future. She wanted to be a lawyers, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t balance work and school and shitty apartments and everything else.   
Donna laughed at how child weapons could be so full of life when they’ve seen so much evil. She figured out that Nightwing was a huge optimistic flirt who saw the class as half full. Red Hood was tortured soul who was too afraid to let people in, but who eventually warmed up to people. He saw the world as a glass half empty, but as one that could be refilled. Red Robin was a quiet intellectual who had been through and who had seen more pain than anyone so gentle deserved. Red robin saw the world as being a full glass, half was full of good the other half was full of bad. There was good and evil and you cannot have one without the other. Robin, he was just a boy. He hadn’t had a real childhood and was socially awkward, but he did have a heart. To him the glass of water was just that, a glass of water devoid of any higher purpose. Donna hoped these boys would all find their purpose and true happiness, she saw a glimpse at it when He showed up.  
One night none other than batman showed up alongside the boys. He was stoic, cold and mysterious, just like the boys described him. But Donna could tell that the dark knight did care for the boys, it was evident in his simple actions. A ruffle of Robin’s hair. A almost smile when Red Hood laughed. A hand on Red Robin’s shoulder, and a chuckle at the boys’ antics. They were a family, not many people could see that underneath the masks, the utility belts and the capes. But they were a family, who allowed her to catch a glimpse of them. She was thankful for the boys and how they had invaded her heart through death threats and pancakes.   
One day, she was checking her mail a letter had come from Wayne enterprises. A full ride to Gotham State and an internship at Wayne Enterprises She was so happy she cried, she knew her boys were somehow behind it. Even though that was years ago and the boys now all had their own cities she knew they were watching over her. Occasionally she’ll see out of the corner of her eyes a flash of red, yellow or she’ll find a batterang lying on the ground and she’ll smile to herself. Even though she was by herself, she knew she would never be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know how this happened i just kind of wrote it and it kind of sucks but whatever. also this is my first published fanfic so yay! I also didn't have a beta on this but if anyone wants to beta for me in the future, you can contact me through here or on my tumblr: lovleylittlebirdie


End file.
